13 parents came to our June meeting. Parents shared their memories of the time their child died and expressed their guilt that they could not protect their child from dying. It was felt that a parent should protect the child from any harm and a sudden and premature death did not allow this.
Some parents were advised not to see their child after death and they have a huge regret that they did not pursue their wish. The numbness and disbelief at the time of losing a child is so bewildering that normal reactions are not present.
Parents feel that there are now only two dates in their life – one when their child died and one after their child’s death and that the outlook to life has changed greatly for them.
Parents talked about music and that it has a big part to play for healing however it may be a long time before they can listen to their child’s favorite song or music which was played at the funeral. Those parents who lost their child a few years ago reassured the newly bereaved parents that in time it is possible to listen to their child’s music which can result in feeling close to the child and may even give some comfort.
Two readings were shared. One by Karen Prisco (www.touchinsouls.com)
‘I forgot to read the fine print’. She expresses her despair losing her child which was not planned when she set out to be a mother. But despite the pain, loss and grief she would ‘sign up’ again to be a mother.
Another poem was read ‘This I can share’ by Marilyn Heavlin (www.bpusastl.org/Poem_Share.htm). She says that no death of a child is the same but the motions and feelings can be shared with bereaved parents as only those who lost a child will know the heartbreak, numbness and desperation.
The group showed support to each other throughout the evening.
Our next meeting will be Thursday 20th July 7.30
The Peartree Centre, 1 Chadds Lane Peartee Bridge MK6 3EB
Any bereaved parent is very welcome