We had 10 parents at our July meeting where we welcomed one new parent and her partner.
Parents feel that coming to this group meeting is a huge effort as it is a group they would have not chosen to be part of but once they get comfortable, have a cup of tea/coffee and are embraced by parents who have been coming previously, they relax and are able to share and talk about their child who died. Parents feel that they can share safely their anger, great sadness, confusion and desperation within a safe and understanding environment.
Parents shared their experience of people’s responds at the time of their child’s death. Friends who they expected to support them at this very traumatic time were often not there – support often came from unexpected people. Even within families the support and varied.
Parents expressed the problems of sleeping after their child’s death. Each one tried to find a way of somehow getting into a sleep pattern – most feel that medication is not the answer. Bereaved parents learn to survive with little or disturbed sleep. It was comforting for them to hear that they are not alone in this.
Parents acknowledged that men and women grief differently. Coming to the Bereavement group does give couples the chance to talk openly about their feelings.
One dad handed a poem out which he would like to have shared on this page.
Ask My Dad How He Is
My Dad, he tells a lot of lies, he never did before. But from now until he dies; he’ll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Dad how his is and because he can’t explain, He will tell a little lie, because he can’t describe the pain.
Ask my Dad how he is, and he’ll say “I’m alright.” If that’s the truth, then tell me why does he cry each night?
Ask my Dad how he is, he seems to cope so well. He didn’t have a choice you see, nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Dad how is, “I’m fine, I’m well, I’m coping”. For God’s sake Dad, just tell the truth. Just say your heart is broken.
He’ll love me all his live, I loved him all of mine. But if you ask how he is, he’ll lie and say he’s fine.
I am here in Heaven.I cannot hug from here. If he lies to you, don’t listen. Hug him and hold him near.
On the day we meet again, we’ll smile and I’ll be bold. I’ll say “You’re lucky to get in here, Dad, with all the lies you told!”
Our next meeting will be Thursday 21st September at 7.30
The Peartree Centre, 1 Chadds Lane Peartee Bridge MK6 3EB
Any bereaved parent is very welcome