Parents came together on Thursday 20th April @ Pear tree bridge and we talked about how social media and the internet affects us – is it a good thing to spend hours searching for answers or reasons why as bereaved parents we feel like we do. Is it productive or destructive for the mind and soul ?
Many of us said we turn to the internet looking for poems, rationale and guidance on how to get though the days, how to deal with questions about our family which we don’t want to answer and attendance to events we don’t really want to go to without our child.
Surfing isn’t right for everyone, for some just knowing that others have posted on blogs and forums about their experiences and journey of loosing a child makes us feel less alone when we are unable to pull strength from the group meetings, while others steer clear of forums and chat groups all together feeling vulnerable and unable to deal with other peoples feelings and thoughts when feel they can’t control or deal with their own.
Along with social media and dealing with virtual questions or acceptance of the situation we spoke about how we deal with meeting new people and work colleagues and sharing our stories or family news. We don’t want to be labelled “the lady who’s child died – so tread carefully when you speak and don’t mention children ” or ” the poor man who’s son died 5 years ago and still struggles” We want to be us … yes we may be fragile, and heart broken, but we are still parents. We don’t want your pity we want understanding ,and even sometimes a bit of normality and for people to have a little empathy, not pity and not to shy away from us just because they don’t know what to say – or are in fear or starting the tears flowing.
We are still the people we were before we lost our children. We are still parents who continue to love our children and want to keep their memory alive.
Our next meeting is Thursday 18th May.